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Doug Loves Sarah, Week 2 of 52

"Banana Staples"

One of the quaintest, and sometimes most off-putting, phrases to come out either Sarah's mouth or mine own, is the two word non-sensible "banana staples". The term, undoubtedly, conjures up either small metallic staples designed to keep fruit together. Or maybe the world's most ineffectual tool to hold things together.

It has a root, as did the last post in our proto-relationship days. When we were friends only, and had not yet considered moving on. Sarah was with Daniel, and I was with pretty much myself, and one night, the three of us decided it might be fun to bind Sarah up using belts. Why we did this, i don't know. Pyschologists might link it to a sexual instinct manifest in the subjagation of women by a male collective. I just thought it would be fun to tie my one day, though this fact was still unknown to just about everyone, wife-to-be with a belt.

Somehow, afterwards, we joked about setting up a safe word. I think it went along the lines "Maybe we will tie you up, again." I joked about it having to be a word that no one could possibly say "in the act". Now, the logic went that someone might say "bananas" and someone might say "staples", but no one would ever say "banana staples", unless the natural order of things was being left behind.

At the time, we were not dating. We were not even having sex, yet (see that is a joke). Two friends would only use a safe word for one thing, the other one is going too far with a joke, a prank, with some sort of "picking" or another. In other words, it is a "safe word" against being annoyed.

The habit stuck. And that is why, to this day, if I go to tickle her, she shouts out "BANANA STAPLES!". No matter who is around. To me, the big deal is not that the phrase is so strange, but the fact that only a couple of people have ever asked what we mean. Surely, the habit of screaming out fruit + office supplies is not more worldwide than I thought? Do people shout out "Apple Fax Cover Sheets" or "Peach Copier Paper" or maybe even, on some cold and wintry night, when boredom has done it's worse, "Tangerine Paperclips!" It is time to be more curious, people.

This week, as every week, I just want the world to hear me write: I love you, Sarah.

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